Where Do They Find These People?

I am currently iritated by the work ethic of some of the people in my office.  I realize that the culture of today is to do as little actual work as possible, while maintaining as high a salary as possible. However, with companies going under left and right, one would think that retaining one's value to the company would be first and foremost in one's mind.

Usually, what an employee does away from work does not concern me. It's really none of my business. That is, until it interferes with my business. Then we have a problem.

For example, calling in "tired." Yes, seriously.

How exactly does one call in "tired?"

"Um, Ms. DaBoss, I can't come in today, I'm too tired."
"Excuse me?"
" Yes ma'am.  I'm just too worn out to come to work, so I won't be in. Thank you, good-bye"

My next call, of course, was to our crack team of Human Resource experts to request termination papers, only to be told that I could not terminate this person because they did, after all, call in and report that they would not be at work. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Now, why this person was "too tired" to come to work was never explained, and HR cautioned me against driving out to their apartment and setting up a stake out to make sure he was not "resting up" with a cooler of tall boys next to the pool.

Because of our "sick day" policy, as long as this person had accrued enough sick days to be out, HR said to mark it up as a sick day and move on.

Meanwhile, who was staying late at the office to cover this person's job functions, as well as her own?
You guessed it....me.

Another situation that is currently beyond ridiculous is Ms."Well-I-am-Pregnant-You-Know."

I realize that it only takes 9 months for a clump of cells to develop into a full functioning baby, but I swear it's been a year and a half now. This person (or should I refer to her as "people" since it IS her and her unborn now?) not only announced to the entire office when she and her spouse were "trying," but also sent out an email blast to us all when they "succeeded." She acts as if no one else in the entire world has ever been pregnant, and feels the need to inform us all of how things are progressing. No detail is too graphic to share, and no one's plight more horrible, or interesting, even the stories from the rest of  us who are mothers (yes, I am a mother and contrary to popular belief, I did not eat ANY of my offspring, however tempting the thought), including the coworker who gave birth to conjoined twins.

And.most irritating of all, this person responds to EVERY request/comment/question with "Well, I am pregnant you know."

"Susie, do you know where the fruit and snack tray for the meeting was delivered"
"Oh, I ate that. Well, I am pregnant, you know"

"Susie, Mr. Bigwig was trying to reach you about his report."
"Oh sorry, I forgot all about pulling that together. Well, I am pregnant, you know"

"Susie, did the check come in from Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe yet?
"I didn't feel up to walking down to the mailroom, even though it's next to the bathroom I've been in on and off for the last hour. Well, I am pregnant you know"

"Susie, has Mr. Bigwig's lunch arrived from the service?"
"Oh, I sent that back. The smell was making me sick. Well, I am pregnant you know"

She was recently overheard at the water cooler, brazenly sharing with others that now her job was "protected" and that she "couldn't be fired" because, "well, I am pregnant, you know."  She has used this "opportunity" to shrug off her responsibilities and has no qualms about leaving the office while leaving behind a pile of work, undone, on her desk. The non-pregnant members of the staff are fed up with her behavior and having to pull her weight, but will agree to do so, in order to keep the whole staff from falling behind.

I actually thought the whole reason that the pregnant are "protected" was so that they could continue to actually work. My mother, a former teacher, said there was a time in our country's history, when a women would quit, or was terminated once she became pregnant. Then around 1978, a school teacher decided that she was healthy enough to work all the way up until her due date, and paved the way for the rest of us working mothers who actually want to work.

Each time I was pregnant, I never missed a day of work (even working from home during 4 weeks of bedrest to insure a project came in on time) or went to an appointment on company time, or left my coworkers in a lurch in any way. I took the shortest possible maternity leave, each time.And even after my children were born, I've managed to maintain that spotless work record, through four cases of chickenpox, two tonsil and adnoid removals, a broken arm, countless colds, ear infections and a household wide case of walking pneumonia.

So one can imagine why I find the inconsideration and irresponsibility so perplexing.

While our friends in HR are sympathetic, they are less than helpful.
"It's only a few more months until she goes on leave, then you will have to cover her duties anyway."  

Wimps.

While "googling"  for possible solutions, I came across this blog, written by an attorney specializing in employment law. Though it's obvious who's side the writer is on, it is refreshing to know I am not the only person who is fed up having to shovel behind the "Susie Broodmare's" of the working world.

Perhaps I can call in "tired."


Ruefully yours,
Cruella